Ghost Rider

'Ghost Story Rides Away With Itself'

When Ghost Rider first came out, I wasn't sure what to do. The comic books were never the most outstanding things ever, but the concept of Ghost Rider is the friggin coolest and most badass concept ever. The bounty hunter of Satan who turns against him to save the innocent and tick off Satan. He rides a bike and uses a chain and has a flaming skull. This opens up all sorts of AWESOME ideas for storylines and what all. plus creates a badass looking character. Then again, no one has been able to get his origin story down well. So with this lense I will destroy this movie.

Mark Steven Johnson was the first tip off. The guy directed Daredevil which I wasn't too afraid of, but then he wrote Elektra which made me choke on my phlegm and bile a little. I hear he's currently working on the Preacher series for HBO...which I hope is completely false or his best work to date. Ghost Rider, however, was written by him as well and there are some good things to say about it. Like the fact that the Ghost Rider gets a pretty good origin tale in it that should function as his tale. Unfortunately, the dialogue is terrifyingly stilted and the situations in which the actors are supposed to draw a line for continuity are badly set and the characters actions make no sense. Yes, I'm looking at Eva Mendes and her character who comes to Cage's apartment after having been stood up twice by the love of her life and then telling him he has one last chance. WHAT? Seriously, I have respect for women and I would like to think that even the dumbest woman would have enough dignity to not go a-begging like that. I did like the touch of the four elements, horsemen of the apocalypse that work with Blackheart the main bad guy as it forced the Rider to get creative and it brought a certain literary aspect to the picture that was quietly amusing. For the rest though, its about as good as roasted poo on a stick. Sure it might look cooler and cling more, but damn its stench reeks.

The CG for the film is AWFUL. I understand that fire and flaming skulls are hard to do convincingly, but man it looked like an 80's character. Thankfuly the motorbike is awesome and I want it. The elementals were very eh, and felt incredibly jobberish. The main two villains of Blackheart and Satan are played well but the choice to have Blackheart look human I'm still out on. And that whole bit with Mark Slade was completely foreseeable. Sure some of the cinematic choices were dynamic in a very Michael Bay fashion, but even that can't save a crappy film. Neither could Cage's honest attempt at portraying Johnny Blaze help. Cage does really well for his part though. Eva Mendes, not so much. In the end, the film stinks but its great for some laughs if you want to recapture some of the cheesy 80's feel with some 60's dialogue. Trust me, its a funny combination.

1.8 out of 5

Wannabe